Clowns and Puppets
by MarianneNorthmanCullen
Summary: My entry o/s for Cass's B-day! It's my first attempt to write an ff and I hope you like it! Emmett Bella and Alice come up with sth to annoy Jerkward! Rated M for swearing and a bit of lemons... The usual gang a bit OCC...


**I would like to warn you that this is my first attempt on writing something in English and not in Greek so…. Remember it while you are reading and don't be mad at me… much….**

**Also I would like to thank my awesome beta ****twilightgirl36 (AKA Stacy) for helping me and keep me from sounding like a complete illiterate… Thank you sooo much girl!!!**

**And the amazing britpacksuccubus for putting up with my whinning!! **

**Of course I could not forget Cass!! This is for you!! Happy birthday!!!!**

**Clowns and Puppets**

**EmPov**

Coming back from the football practice, I thought of the awesome comeback prank, it was what I was looking for! Of course I would eventually! I am Emmett-freaking-evil-genius-McCarty for fucks sake!!!! Eddie-boy is the first on my shit list since I saw him making out with Rose about a month ago…

I still remember that day clearly, I was coming out of practice early, heading for my black Dodge at the central parking lot of Forks High. I was very surprised to see Edward's shiny Volvo still parked there, when I knew that his last class ended at least an hour before… When I got closer I saw her, Rosalie Hale straddling him in the backside! She is the head of the cheerleaders, every man's dream: a tall, blue-eyed gorgeous blonde!!!! Even though I grew the balls to ask her out last week, he had no fucking right doing something like this! He fucking knew!! When I remember him touching HER, I can literally feel the steam coming out of my ears! The image of him unclasping her red sinful bra is still giving me nightmares! I can't think about it… That night I fully understood that I had feelings for her…

I know what you think now, '_Get a grip you, fucking pussy'_ and stuff, but I admit it I have fallen for her and hard…

And now the time has come! I am going to get back at that motherfucker and his is sooo fucking screwed! I have finally found his soft spot! Even though he is trying veery hard to hide it, he is completely smitten for the little brunette sex-on-legs, his fucking sister's BFF or some crap like that, Isabella Swan! I have the perfect plan and I know very damn well that these little vixens, Bella and Alice are gonna love screwing with his mind!! I can picture the expression in that evil pixie's face when I announce to her the best way to get even with her twin, especially since he made her wear that god-awful outfit to school as a dare a week ago…

The only problem is that the Swan girl is a little shy sometimes. I don't get how she does it… She goes from a full bitch mode to a sweet shy neighbor girl in a matter of mere seconds! I guess it's a girl's thing… And of course, she has this big, no HUGE crash on Cullen… I really don't see how he missed this shit! I will just rest my hopes in the energetic pixie and see what deal I can get…

**BPov**

I woke up early this morning, so I decided to do some laundry. Charlie, my Dad is almost never here, but it doesn't matter, I enjoy the time to think during these little tasks. He is working always late or is fishing with Billy, since my mother's death 7 years ago, so I have our house to myself most of the time. I went to the basement and started the washing machine, when my Blackberry rang. _Emmett. _

"Hey Bells! What's up?"

"Hey Em! What are you doing up this early in the morning? Didn't you go to that party yesterday?"

"Sure, Bella whatever you say! Anyway, call the pixie and tell her to me us at my house in an hour. I have something very interesting to offer to you and her and it involves her bro."

"Stop bull shitting me, Em. Just tell me and get over it! I have things to do instead of sitting around drinking all day or smoking some shit!!"

"I'll spill when I see you two in a few. I strongly recommend you to listen to me and come, 'cause it's a win-win situation, the one I offer and you don't get it twice from meee!"

I could hear the smile in his voice. He knew he had me exactly where he wanted me as soon as he mentioned Edward. So what the hell??

"Ok. See you!"

While I went up to my room to pick something to wear, I texted Alice to meet us there in half an hour. I threw on some old navy jeans and a nice colorful t-shirt with my favorite brown boots. I grabbed my jacket and my bag, taking my keys and blackberry from the kitchen table and went outside. I took my beautiful black bugatti (Charlie's sweet sixteen birthday present and I love it more every day) and drove to the outskirts of Forks, where the McCarty villa is. I could see Alice's orange Porsche and when I got out of my car, I saw her coming full force in me. She started squealing and clapping her hands bouncing up and down while she yells:

"It's the perfect plan, Bella!!! I know it! It is _IT_!!!"

"What the hell, Ali?? Where is my idiot of a cousin??"

"I am here, Bells! I just explained to the pixie my prank and I think she likes it!"

He had a shit eating grin plastered in his face from ear to ear…

"Yeah, Em. You and the whole town of Forks" I reply with my voice full of sarcasm...

"Chill out gal! Now, listen carefully. The whole thing is about good timing. You've got to wear……

XXXXXXX

**EPov**

_I am sooo bored! High school is plain stupid! I know more stuff than my teachers and there is absolutely nothing to challenge me… Apart from her… But… I can't think of her that way… Hurts too much…_

And that was the main reason why the second my braces and idiotic large glasses were off in my junior year, I became the new playboy of Forks. My photographic memory guaranteed my straight A grades and everyone is happy… Except me… But that's another story

The bell for lunch rang and I quickly gathered my stuff, heading to the cafeteria. There I find Alice, Emmett, and Bella having a very suspicious and cryptic talk about (if I got it right) some very expensive lingerie. And that reminds me of my last encounter with a Victoria's Secret red silk set and its fantastic (and flexible…) owner, Rosalie-let's-fuck-now-Hale! She has a body that rocks! I can still feel her skin on me from our last encounter on the backside of my Volvo. I was waiting for Emmett to finish practice because I wanted to tell him something about the party that night, when I saw her walking in her sinful red-and-black outfit. I was instantly hard!! What an ass that she has!! Needless to say, I had her pinned and writhing under me on the hood of my car in seconds… Not that she said no or something… She locked her long lean legs on my waist and I put us hastily into the backseat, where I was kissing her with a passion so filled with lust that even if the building ahead of us would be burning, I wouldn't have noticed! Her tongue battling for dominance with mine was such a turn on as I was also feeling her up fervently! Like the expert that I am, I unclasped her bra and saw a gorgeous pair of breasts that were especially made for me to nuzzle and bite. I knew that she liked it rough… I got rid of her panties and buried myself deep inside of her, marveling her tightness and warmness!! Soon we where both panting frantically and I knew I was close, so a reached in between our tangled bodies, to begin rubbing and pinching her clit, until I felt her walls clenching around my shaft and heard her scream, "OHMYFUCKINGGOD" along my name, while she was cumming hard, harder that anyone else got her to… What can I say? I am a cocky bastard!!

_And now I am hard!_ I sat down in my chair quickly, but when I looked around and saw Bella, clad in that mini dress and fuck-me-boots, I swear I got even harder!! _Fuck Cullen! When will you get that daydreaming about Hale, while seeing Bella in front of you is guaranteed blue balls for the rest of the day???? _

"Edward! Edward…. EDWARD CULLEN, ARE YOU FREAKING LISTENING AT ALL WHILE I AM SPEAKING TO YOU????" _Oh shit Alice!_

"What the hell Alice?? I CAN hear you, you know?? I am NOT deaf!!"

"Oh cut him some slack, Al! I really doubt that there is anyone in a 100 mile radius that didn't hear your voice!" Thank god for Bella! She is such an angel! Always there to defend me!

"No, Bella! He is such a jerk sometimes!! So Eddie, now that I have your attention, I was saying that Bella and Emmett are going to spend the weekend with us, starting from today at 7."

I hate it when she calls me that and she knows it! _Bitch!_

"And what the fuck do you want little energetic Tinkerbelle?? My fucking permission??"

"Whatever Edward, really!"

**EmPov **

_Holly shit!! Yes!_ He got the pixie mad! _Now he is doomed!!_ I think all the hesitation about the clown decorations is gone now… I heard Alice and Bella saying that they were gonna skip the last two periods to go home and get things ready. _Now for my part…_

I had to get Edward a little tipsy! Not drunk, we wanted him to have some control, but not all the control he usually had… I ran to my Caliber and took the flask of Goose that I always have with me and ran up to the study room. As expected, I see Cullen right away! I get closer and flick his head.

"hey man! What's up?"

"Oh, hey bro! I was just reading…"

"Classics again?? Oh, you are such a dork, C!" I gulped down a mouthful of goose and passed it to him. "Do you want some?"

"Sure."

Two hours later, I had him where I wanted him!

**BPov**

Alice is such a force of nature, especially when she is mad! After she helped me with the décor, she went on to install the cameras with Jazz. At 5:30, everything was ready so they left to go in the 'security' room. I went through everything in my head for the millionth time…

_Decorate his bedroom with clowns and other puppets…_ Checked

_Wear the outfit Alice gave to you… _Checked

_Wear some suitable make up_… Checked

_Turn on the cam_… Checked

_Turn on the bitch mode…_ almost there… I still feel bad about what we're going to do

So that leaves us with….

Yes! His arrival!

A few minutes before 6, I heard the door open and Edward come in with… OH MY GOD!! Little fella on hand! Fortunately, even though I thought that I was speechless, the

cold-hearted, slutty bitch side of me took the matter on her hands and purred, "Oh Edward, you've been such a bad boy by stealing your best friend's girl! I came to punish you…"

**EPov **

There are two things in the whole world that scare me shitless… Clowns and the cat woman! Both phobias started when I was nine years old on Halloween night! Emmett and I were watching, "_IT"_ on the TV, trying to prove to Jazz that we were brave enough to. It was then, that Bella came into the room shouting, "I am here! I am here! And you are DEAD," at the top of her lungs, dressed as a cat woman—her favorite character. I was so scared that I started screaming and crying and –yes it can get more embarrassing—calling for my MOM!!! Since then, I hate them with passion!

And there they were both in my freaking bedroom!!! I had ran into the house desperate with a hard on and ran into my room so that I could 'take the matters into my own hand,' because the last time Bella had a sleepover, I was with a ragging hard-on for the whole weekend—24/7! I was such in a hurry, that I freed myself from my pants as soon as the door was open without even thinking. When I looked up, I saw A HUGE clown on my bed and Bella in front of it, dressed as the aforementioned hateful comic character! It was then that I took in the rest of my room, which was decorated and resembled a bit of a freaking clown show and a playroom! I was so freaking scared that when I heard her talking to me, in such a dirty voice, I turned on my heels and run away screaming!!!

**EmPov **

As soon as he was out of the room, I got out of the walk-in and started laugh my ass off!!!! His expression was FREAKING HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!! Then I heard Alice and Jasper screaming, "We got it on video!! WE GOT IT ON FREAKING VIDEO!!!" And see Bellsie turning red as a tomato! She was amazing! Everything was perfect….

**I hope you all liked it!!**

**The links for their cars and outfits are in my profile!!**

**Again Cass HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!**

**Marianne**


End file.
